Ok, so I know that several of the readers of this blog will enjoy this, several others will groan as they read, and many others will just roll their eyes at the lack of humor below. I’m posting anyways.
And for the record, at one time, I have laughed out loud at every one of these. There, I confessed.
Q: How does a mathematician induce good behavior in his children?
A: `I’ve told you n times, I’ve told you n+1 times…’
A mathematician and his best friend, an engineer, attend a public lecture on geometry in thirteen-dimensional space.
"How did you like it?" the mathematician wants to know after the talk.
"My head’s spinning", the engineer confesses. "How can you develop any intuition for thirteen-dimensional space?"
"Well, it’s not even difficult. All I do is visualize the situation in arbitrary N-dimensional space and then set N = 13."
One day, Jesus said to his disciples: "The Kingdom of Heaven is like 3x squared plus 8x minus 9."
A man who had just joined the disciples looked very confused and asked Peter: "What, on Earth, does he mean by that?"
Peter replied: "Don’t worry – it’s just another one of his parabolas."
[I’ve heard the ones about the Abelian Grape and Zorn’s Lemon, but this one was new to me]
Q: What is normed, complete, and yellow?
A: A Bananach space…
A mathematician has spent years trying to prove the Riemann hypothesis – without success. Finally, he decides to sell his soul to the devil in exchange for a proof. The devil promises to deliver a proof within four weeks.
Four weeks pass, but nothing happens. Half a year later, the devil shows up again – in a rather gloomy mood.
"I’m sorry", he says. "I couldn’t prove the Riemann hypothesis either. But" – and his face lightens up – "I think I found a really interesting lemma…"
That’s enough for now. Are you smiling yet or just confused?