Bad math humor
September 18th, 2006 by SplineGuy
One day, Jesus said to his disciples: “The Kingdom of Heaven is like 3x squared plus 8x minus 9.”
A man who had just joined the disciples looked very confused and asked Peter: “What, on Earth, does he mean by that?”
Peter replied: “Don’t worry - it’s just another one of his parabolas.”
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Theorem. Every positive integer is interesting.
Proof. Assume towards a contradiction that there is an uninteresting positive integer. Then there must be a smallest uninteresting positive integer. But being the smallest uninteresting positive integer is interesting by itself. Contradiction!
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Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x].
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Q: What’s purple and commutes?
A: An abelian grape
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Q: What is normed, complete, and yellow?
A: A Bananach space…
That’s enough for now. I hope you laughed at least once.
HT: Volker Runde
Har de har. har.
(I did laugh. Just don’t want to admit it.)
Oh come on, let your inner mathematician out!
I giggled, but don’t know for sure why…..
Was it out of pity?
Q: What is yellow and equivalent to the axiom of choice?
A: Zorn’s lemon.
(Also acceptable: Corn’s lemma).
Q: What is purple, commutes, and has a finite number of worshipers?
A: A finitely venerated abelian grape.
In an Old West town, there were some functions sitting around in the saloon, drinking to their heart’s content. The functions were good folk, mainly polynomials and rational functions and the like.
Suddenly, an out of breath constant bursts into the saloon and says, in between gasps, “A differential operator is coming to town!”
Now, the functions didn’t like that all too much…especially the polynomials, and doubly so for the constants! Before a full-blown panic erupted, e^x brought his head up from his drink and said “Don’t you folks worry, I got it taken care of.” The other functions were more relieved, but some of them still hid, and those that didn’t went up to the balcany to look in on the action.
Well, good ol’ e^x didn’t have to wait long. Soon, footsteps approached the saloon.
And then, in walked d/dy…